I like to take some quiet moments to stare at the night sky sometimes.

'I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' - Mark 10:15

Thank you, Nic.

No heart. No soul. No mind. We're only making music now. Though it's more of incessant noise.

Riffs, pads, crashes. Wrong place, wrong time. What happened to the vision of our band?

I've totally lost interest in playing in our band. The notes I play ring through an empty room. And how hard is it to remember to close in prayer?

I want to worship God every single time I play. I really do.

And my patience with you is wearing thin. I can understand if you're bored, but don't express your boredom at the expense of others. Learn to catch the hints.

Why am I so eager for that msn message, for that sms, for that smile; but not as eager to speak to a few new friends brought into the house of God?

Change my heart, oh Lord. Change my heart.

Why is it so easy to spend hours on the technical aspects of music, but so hard to focus for a few minutes on the spiritual aspects?

I want to play for You alone, Lord.

Christ died to RESCUE us from our sins, to RECONCILE us to God, and to let us REIGN with Him. With Him who reigns.

What could stand before You
As You chose to embrace
A cross so undeserved You took for me
The weight of sin upon You
When You offered Your life
As You walked the streets of men with fading strength

How could we live but not see
Your sacrifice
Your glory

You reign, You reign
Over everything Lord, You reign
With power and justice divine
Over everything Lord, You reign

What was Your last thought
As You drew Your last breath
Where the victory was Yours for us to see
And all will know the truth
As we live by Your grace
Every praise to You alone

See now the King of Glory
Love of God become my calling
Father I surrender all I am to You forever

I just realised how much I miss her.

I want to bring Valifer to church. For a proper practice session. I seriously don't think we'll go anywhere if we spend 20 minutes telling each other to stop playing random grooves while we think of a song to practice our team dynamics. I'm so glad Nic is back. It's time we started working together as frontline soldiers.

All around the gentle patter
Raindrops from the morning shower
Dazed looks upon the dreary hues
Awaiting again the return of his dawn

Sigh. Need to watch myself.

What they said was probably true anyway. But at least I'm genuine. Sigh. I've still got a long way to go.

Sigh. I don't know what I'm doing now. I don't know what I'm thinking either. I'm pretty confused. Everyone please bear with me. I'm going through a phase of great confuddlement ):

The phone rang out in the silence, echoing in the dark halls.

I'm feeling cheerful again. Anyone wants a free Christmas hug? You can always approach me if you want one (:

Christmas is all about love! And I have the greatest love of all in my heart (:

Thank you, Lord!



You are the source of the life
I can’t be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace

I will follow You
This world has nothing for me

Thank you Lefa for coming over to my house yesterday. Though you made me miss my afternoon nap and I ended up having to sleep at 8.30, you made me realise I could play Desert Song (:

Thank you Leon for your birthday present. My third. The first was the card from the Lightstix and the second was my bass from my parents and aunt. And even though I don't think I'm going to use it, thanks (:

Thank you Nicholas for being so direct and crude when reminding me "Stop it, Eugene. She probably doesn't like you". Haha let's focus on more important things. Like running the team and chasing God (:

Ah, it's good to be optimistic sometimes.

A fallen, worldly generation. Discussing even the world as it is today disturbs me. So many fallacies that blind men as they bury themselves deeper and deeper in their mistakes.

Can't accomodate your spouse? No longer have any 'feeling' for him or her? Well that's simple. Sign on the dotted line and you're divorced. What a simple way out. Then you can get married again. Marital unfaithfulness? Don't forgive him. Get a divorce and find a better spouse.

Can't take the stress of work? Don't feel good enough for society? Can't take a few pranks? Hate your life? Hate how you look? Hate where you are in life? That's easy. The answer is in suicide. Leave this world and it's present miseries. But it's not that simple. Death doesn't resolve your troubles.

I don't want to write another cliche post. But accept this advice. The world and its fallacies will never satisfy. You were made the way you were. Plastic surgery, botox injections and silicon pads won't make you a more beautiful person. All His creations are beautiful in His eyes. We make mistakes, we have screw-ups in life. Isn't it just completely wonderful to have someone to run to when you're down; someone that is always willing to forgive when you apologise in all sincerity?

What we all need in this world is all God is willing to grace us with. Love. Forgiveness. Patience. Trust. Joy. Humility. Confidence. Hope. Faithfulness. Peace. Perserverance. We need God.

I don't want to tell the world what it wants to hear. I want to tell the world what it needs to hear.

I don't have so much free time as to go around publicising my religion. What the world is looking for - the solution to all their problems - is right there. I've found it. Many others have found it. And I hope that everyone whom I know will find it too. I'm indebted to my Saviour to share this message of love. Christmas isn't only about any ordinary gift. It's about the most precious gift of God. His forgiveness through Christ His Son. Santa Claus will never replace Jesus. My Christmas will never be merry until I know that my friends are in the knowledge and guidance in Christ our King. Christ He reigns.



40 million babies lost to Gods great orphanage
It’s a modern day genocide and a modern day disgrace
If this is a human right then why aren’t we free?
The only freedom we have is in a man nailed to a tree

100 million faces staring at the sky
Wondering if this HIV will ever pass us by
The devil stole the rain and hope trickles down the plug
But still my Chinese take away could pay for someone’s drugs

Our God reigns
Our God reigns
Forever Your kingdom reigns

The west has found a gun and it’s loaded with ‘unsure’
Nip and tuck if you have the bucks in a race to find a cure
Psalm one hundred and thirty nine is the conscience to our selfish crime
God didn’t screw up when He made you
He’s a father who loves to parade you

Yes He reigns
Yes You reign
Yes You reign
For there is only one true God
But we’ve lost the reins on this world
Forgive us all
Forgive us please
As we fight for this broken world on our knees

There's a time to everything. And now's not it.

Let the spirit deny the flesh. I will hold on to my promise to God. Strengthen me, oh Lord.

Found in Your hands
Fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away
Here in Your presence

All of my gains
Now fade away
Every crown no longer on display
Here in Your presence

Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdom are standing amazed

Here in Your presence
We are undone
Here in Your presence
Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence
All things are new
Here in Your presence
Everything bows before You

Wonderful
Beautiful
Glorious
Matchless in every way

The true meaning of Christmas.

Prayer. Thanksgiving. Love.

You called my name
Reached out Your hand
Restored my life
And I was redeemed
The moment You entered my life

Amazing grace
Christ gave that day
My life was changed
When from my shoulders
Fell the weight of my sin

So it's with everything I am
I reach out for Your hand
The hope that changed
A second chance I've gained
On You I throw my life
Casting all my fears aside
How could greater love then this
Ever possibly exist

Consume my thoughts
As I rest in You
I'm now in love
With a Saviour
Bearing the marks of His love

So I wait upon You now
With my hands released to You
Where a little faith's enough
To see mountains lift and move
Yeah and I wait upon You now
Dedicated to Your will
To this love that will remain
A love that never fails

DISCLAIMER: The following post is written on a light note and contains potentially scandalous information. Readers will NOT approach the author regarding this entry. Failure to comply would lead to temporal ignorance until a subject change is suggested or put in place.

I've been sitting around watching people walk by for the past two days, and I think I'm finally bored enough to post about girls. Lucky you!

This list is highly detailed and is correct to today, 11th December 2008. Some points are, of course, optional, but are usually a major plus point (: There are, of course, exceptions.

Ready?

- - - - -

Eugene likes girls who:

LOVE GOD!
are friendly and nice (like me!)
are slightly attractive (the more the merrier, but a little bit is enough)
are humble
are sweet and gentle (:
are direct and honest (its hard to understand someone who isn't)
are genuine
are understanding
are cheerful and optimistic (*smile*)
are quiet with a playful side
are slightly athletic (I hate running alone)
are patient and forgiving
are generous with hugs (when I'm feeling down)
are not too bimbo-tic (a little is cute, but too much is scary)
are not too calculative
do not splurge too often (sometimes is alright, honest)
do not mind eating hawker fare
do not mind me talking with other girls (as sisters)
dress modestly
dress appropriately (like no FBTs at a wedding dinner)
can keep me in check (and tell me directly and maybe even bluntly when I make a mistake)
will share the housework with me
will taste and comment on my cooking (hehe...)
will do charity with me (: (that's why she shouldn't be too calculative)
will run with me (I'm actually quite lazy...)

Haha that's it for now! If you fulfil all of the above criteria, good for you! (Unless you're a guy :))

Thank you, Lord. You are ever faithful, oh Lord.

One soul. Waiting to be impacted.

Cover every step of my way. I need Your strength and guidance more and more, oh Lord. And I love You, God.

This is God's message for all of my brothers and sisters out there, who're feeling weary and heavy laden. Don't give up.

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I... I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I... I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I... I will be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I... I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
You are loved

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world

Don't give up
Every one needs to be heard
You are loved

Oh yeah. Congrats to Nic, our new captain (:

I give it up to You, oh Lord.

You are above my fleshly desires. Keep my eyes upon You alone even as I go through each day, Lord let not my heart stray. You are sovereign, and I want to serve You with all I am.

I thank You Lord for all You've given me. You're a graceful God, You give though I don't deserve. Let me be satisfied with what You've blessed me with, and let me give thanks to my Lord.

To everything there is a season. And Lord I know that now's not the time. I lay it all up in Your hands. Your will be done, not mine.

Humble me, let me serve You each day and grant me the courage and protection as I witness for You. You are my Saviour, my Strength, my Hope. Without You I am nothing, and in You I'll find strength.

Let hearts be softened, let Your workers arise - for the time of harvest is here.

A wish? Ah that's simple. My wish is for all of you to believe.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of Earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace

Forgive, without expecting to be forgiven in return.

It's time to sit down closed off from the world, earnestly seeking God in prayer and reflection. I need His Word to guide my life.

It has only been less than 6 hours since I packed my last packet of medicine and I've only known them for less than 2 weeks - yet I'm missing them already. Amanda, Jessica, Lyn, Dionna, Ophyllia, Samuel, Andrew and everyone else.

Losing a loved one must be unbearable.

We're living in a world of compromise.

"And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffers violence, and the violent take it by force." - Matthew 11:12 (NKJV)

Shall violence deter the Church from seeking God? May the Lord's blessings and aid be rained down upon our sisters facing tribulation, for protection and strength as the counter evil with good.

The time has come to step up.

A thunderous clatter of rubber on the quadrangle pavement. Echoes. Echoes.

What's the point of all the glory when we can't even get our hearts right with God? Mistakes are mistakes made, and lessons for the humble of heart. There's more to it than human wisdom in every situation.

Parents are back in Singapore. Chinese O Levels are over - it's time to get myself a proper bass. And I'm reminded of the fact that I have still so much to learn, and so little time.

So I'm still awake at 2.36am. Not very much my fault, I overslept. I suppose the 3 alarms did go off at 7.30, 7.35 and 7.40pm respectively, but I am a heavy sleeper. Heh. Fancy blogging at such a time in the night. Maybe this is why the URL is "mynightjournal".

My parents and relatives are still overseas, and they'll be only back on Wednesday. I'll probably have to mop the floor tomorrow or something. After work. And I'll need to throw in some time for chinese revision, too.

Sacrifices must be laid out before God. I've already laid out a few, but it's just so tempting to turn back and retrieve the offerings made to God. But a decision is a decision, and God is above all my priorities. If they ever were priorities.

A beautiful song by Hillsong United. I like the lyrics. And of course the repeated bassline.

I don't care what they say about me
It's all right, all right
I don't care they think about me
It's all right, they'll get it one day

I love you, I'll follow you
You are my, my life
I will read my Bible and pray
I will follow you all day

I don't care what it costs anymore
Cos' you gave it all and I'm following you
I don't care what it takes anymore
No matter what happens I'm going your way

All Day
All Day now
All Day
I'll follow You

Anyone around can see just how good you've been to me
For all my friends that don't know you
I pray that you would save them too

Why fight alone, when we can fight with the commander of the whole universe? I've let my pride overcome me far too often, but it's only with humility can we seek and borrow God's strength for the spiritual war ahead. Will we fall on our knees today in reverence of the Lord of indescribable magnificence? Lord, rain down on me.

I am falling to my knees
I need You Lord to breathe in me
My prayer is still the same
My heart is calling out Your name

Sweet anointing fill this place
I am found in Your embrace

Rain down on me
Rain down on me
Here in Your presence I am free
Pour down like rain
Come and touch me again
Lord let Your presence fall on me

I’m longing just to see
Your power and Your majesty

Sweet anointing fill this place
I am found in Your embrace

Sweet anointing
Wash me over
Sweet anointing
Wash me over

it's so easy to forget the blessings God has granted all of us. Let us remember today and treasure them.

The hustle and bustle of work life. Crowds at the bus-stop, crowds on the train, crowds in the hospital, crowds in the eatery. Busy pharmacists shuffle about the tight spaces between shelves, occasionally pausing to retrieve the orders from the mocking printer. Time passes by quickly, with no time to pause for a thought. Fatigue creeps in, a splitting headache that gnaws at the skull.

Sometimes I wonder if we're sowing more than we can water and harvest.

Relationships - like delicate pieces of glass that adorn the mantle which I so carefully watch each day. The little ornament that once stood in the corner, the new addition that seemed to gleam in spite of the dull flickering light of the fire, now laid shattered on the carpeted floor a couple of feet below. Another, a more senior piece of this chess game, in the same fate? I vaguely remembered having polished the dusty rook weeks before.

A gust of wind? Or perhaps a work of the fabled thief who sows discord? They answer me not, as I gaze in pained silence.

Would time tell? Sometimes I really wonder.